My computer crashes at least three times a day now. It is SOOOOOO frustrating! I've got everything backed up on an external hard drive, so if it does actually go out on me for good one of these days, I won't be too sad.
At last night's Relief Society activity, we had a swap of old things we weren't using anymore. I found some tap shoes for Lucy!! They are just a tad too big... perfect for growing into. When we got home, I put them on her and she had a blast "tapping" around in the kitchen, jumping, twirling, and making tons of noise! We then watched some Youtube videos of little 3 year olds at their dancing recitals. She was copying every move! Maybe I need to sign her up for some dancing lessons?
We visited the Nelson-Atkins Museum of Art for our date last week. It was amazing! So much beautiful art... and lots of weirder art. We happened to go on the night of the Chinese New Year celebration. It was swarming with people! Tons of activities, crafts, performances, and speeches going on. We even got to watch a magic show!
We woke up to a crazy lightning and thunderstorm this morning. It was pretty magnificent! The flashes of light were so bright that I thought someone was actually taking a picture of me while I was sleeping!
In Provo, the library was our place to go. We went a couple of times a week and especially loved story time. We've been to a couple of libraries here but I can't find one just as good as Provo's library. I took the kids to a story time yesterday and it was so lame! I can't tell you how much this lame library made me miss home. I've been holding it together pretty well, but that library almost brought me to tears!
Okay, this lady made me try this bizarre concoction and then I made Alex try it.... Oreos with a dab of Cheez Whiz inside. Sounds nasty, right? But if I were to be completely honest... it truly wasn't that bad. Tasted a little like cheese cake. Weird, I know. But just the thought of it makes you feel like your arteries have already clogged. I don't think I'll be buying Cheez Whiz anytime soon.... ever for that matter!
I've was really excited to become a part of a new ward... make new friends, go to activities, and just try to find my niche in our new surroundings. And as uncomfortable as it is, I've really been putting myself out there and getting involved in conversations and activities. I feel like I have been on a dozen first dates, searching and searching for that thing that we have in common.
I feel like I was doing pretty well and was fitting in alright. But last night, we had an activity where I signed up to be on a panel of judges for some creative discussion. I was totally going out on a limb... I had only been in the ward for two weeks when I signed up. The lady in charge said that we all had to wear big hats during our presentation. I was totally excited because I have this great derby type hat that I have only worn at my bridal shower. I asked the lady if that was what she had in mind. She gave me and emphatic "Yes! That's perfect!!!". The time came where the four of us judges had to go up on stage. I pulled out my big hat, put it on, and walked up to the front. I totally stuck out like a sore thumb! The other ladies who were judging with me wore a baseball cap, a Newsies hat, and no hat at all. Wow, I felt pretty dumb. I felt like all of these ladies who have been in this ward for a while were looking at me, thinking to themselves, "Who is this new girl? Who does she think she is?" Pretty much all of my confidence and excitement I had about being in a new ward went out the window in that small, tiny, insignificant moment. I feel so insecure now. I think I'm going to lay low for a little bit and ease myself into the pool instead of jumping in at the deep end.
............but that's going to be tough to do considering I just got called to be a Relief Society Instructor. Talk about intimidating, nerve racking, and insecurities out the roof!
You'd probably be surprised how many people probably thought, "I want to get to know THAT girl!" when you wore your crazy hat. That shows that you have spice and aren't boring. I hate moving to new places though, it is so intimidating. If it helps I have a friend here who just moved from Kansas City about a year ago and she absolutely loved it there! So hopefully you do too. She's pretty wild and funny, so those girls might be a little crazier than they appear. And I'm a RS Instructor too and I love it! Some lessons definitely go better than others, but ultimately I just tell myself that it's not me actually teaching the lesson but it's the Lord using me to get his message across. Somehow that makes me feel better. And the manual this year is really good, George Albert Smith is pretty rad. Anyways, hang in there. It'll get better with time and soon you'll have more friends than you'll know what to do with. :)
ReplyDeleteIt seems like our Relief Societies have the same thinking... I was just called as an instructor too. I hate being in front of that many people that I don't know and now I have to try to teach them. I'm so nervous! Thankfully it's only a once a month thing. They also called me to be the Ward Chorister... they told me I could wait to give them a yes/no on that one. I'm still mulling over the idea.
ReplyDeleteAnd falling down the stairs like that I think is even worse than tripping... it feels way more traumatic. I hope you're feeling better. Does it make you nervous now each time you go down?
I'd love to see a video of that Lucy girl tapping away. So adorable!!! I want to make some superhero clothes for Ryan, but I don't know if it's too girly for him to play dress up. I could make it manly, right? Do you think Todd will play dress up?
Wow, I should just email or call you. Apparently I have a lot I want to talk to you about. :o)
I totally understand about how you feel--trying to fit in/sticking out. I guarantee they thought you were pretty awesome and are looking forward to hearing your lessons. I was a RS instructor in Temecula and was so intimidated, being younger, etc. It was the best calling ever!! Remember, "The Lord doesn't call the qualified, he qualifies the called," and he will help you. And you will blow them away with how wonderful you are!
ReplyDeleteDon't worry. Everyone probably though it was awesome and secretly wanted to steal ur hat! =) Just remember that this is where the Lord sent u and he's the one that called u to teach. I am sure that u will bring so much to that ward. maybe think about it that way-about what you can do to better where you are instead of wondering what everyone is thinking of u. U are a truly kind and wonderful woman and anyone would be lucky to be your friend. Don't get discouraged, everything will be fine =) hope u are over ur awesome hat debut and realizing how cool u are for doing it! good luck!
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