Today

I was woken up by Todd this morning around 6:45. I got him back to sleep, tucked him in and headed back to my bed. But as tired as I was, I couldn't help but notice the silence, accompanied by the chorus of birds greeting another beautiful day. I had a choice to make... do I go hop back in bed and try to get some more sleep (probably only an extra 45 min), or do I stay awake and enjoy this solitude, which is very rare. I always take the sleep option when given the choice. But this morning, I chose option B.
I put on some clothes and plopped on the couch, laying with my head on the arm rest and facing the floor to ceiling window. What do I do now? I'm up with no one to feed, no diapers to change, no one to entertain. I'm just laying on the couch, ankles crossed, and I'm watching the partly cloudy, pastel sky grow more bright each second as the sun is slowly rising. I'm doing nothing and I don't have to do anything! (this is great!) It's just me and my thoughts and the two red cardinals outside, bouncing from branch to branch, most likely hunting for their morning meal.
Just me and my thoughts, huh? What do I do with all of these thoughts? I'm not very good at channeling my thoughts. They are usually quite scattered and are often reflective. As great as reflecting can be most times, I tend to relive some of those thoughts and experiences... that's quite a difference.
It's a new day. A clean slate. A blank canvas.
Several days ago, I had another emotionally dumpy day. Yesterday was amazing, fun, happy, and silly. But today... hmmm..... what will today bring for me?


I think today will be a good day.

Dad's Visit

My dad came and stayed with us for a night. He's a pilot and he rearranged his schedule to have a lay-over in Kansas City. We were so excited to have him come and to be our first visitor! Lucy could not wait to see him! When I brought my dad home from the airport, it was 10:30pm and Lucy came running out of her room. She couldn't sleep knowing that Papa was coming! We let her stay up for a little bit and play. The next morning, we went to IHOP. We all got some eggs, bacon, and delicious blueberry pancakes. Todd snacked on a slice of lemon and toast and Lucy had a happy face pancake.

(Lucy likes to wear pink hats at 11pm at night) :)

After breakfast we went to Penguin Park. At the park, there is a giant kangaroo, elephant, giraffe, and of course a giant penguin. Lucy ran around like she owned the place, excited to show Papa all of the fun things. 

Todd giving the balancing beam a try.

We then tried flying a kite. It wasn't as windy as it usually is, but we gave it a shot. We got the kite to stay up for a little bit, but not too long. Lucy LOVED it! This was her first time flying a kite. We'll try it again another day when there is a little more wind.

After the park, we took my dad downtown and showed him where Alex goes to school and then we went to the zoo (no surprise there) for about an hour before we had to take him back to the airport. We were bummed that he was only here for a total of about 15 hours, but we are hoping that he'll be able to get more trips on his schedule that would have him come through Kansas City often!

Trying to Figure it Out

Since moving to Kansas City, I seem to have gotten lost with a sense of who I am. Back in Utah I had my routine, I knew where everything was, and I had lots of friends. With Alex now gone most of the day at school, I'm here by myself with two kids not knowing what to do or where to take them. I am having to relearn what makes me happy. For the last four years, Alex has been my happiness. I know I shouldn't depend on him to make me happy... but life is so much brighter, fun, and exciting when he's around. I feel like I know who I am when I am with him. But now that he's not really around...who am I? Really?
It seems like every day for the last two months has been a day of "trying to figure things out". Sure, I've had a couple of break downs and I've had those days where I just don't want to do anything because I am border line depressed. But for the most part, I just want to create something. I don't know what... but something! I know that when I create something it makes me happy. I don't know how many times I've changed my kitchen decor (okay only like 3 times), or how many times I've started to draw or paint only to scratch the whole idea or how many times I've had a great thought that I never follow through with. I'm in the process of figuring out how to let my creative soul free... It's just knocking and knocking and doesn't know how to get out! And I'm sure this learning process will be on-going for the rest of my life. But why not start now? I'm learning that in order to reach what I think is my potential, I have to take that first step. I have to take risks and even let myself fail in order to find myself.
I have a perfectionist "all-or-nothing" mentality... and I'm realizing more and more that in order to grow and to eventually reach my desired goal or outcome, I need to take one step at a time. I've been told this my whole life, yet only now is it beginning to really sink in.

Spring Break is Here!

 Alex started Spring Break, or as I'd like to call it - A Very Much Needed Break!  (for all of us!)

We started off our Saturday with a training from our Stake on how to be tour guides for the Kansas City Temple open house. We were asked to be tour guides for April 17th. During our training we got to take a tour of the temple. It is just so beautiful! We feel so blessed to have the temple just up the street from us and can't wait until it is dedicated and in operation. 

Here is a short Mormon Messages video on the Kansas Temple open house.

The training lasted from 7:30 am until about 10am. We went home to change quickly, and then took off to the Farmer's Market downtown... something I've been wanting to do for a while now.

 

 

So many colors, smells, sounds, and yummy things to eat! We hear that the Farmer's Market gets really big in the upcoming months with tons of vendors. We will definitely be making a trip back!

After the market, we headed to the zoo. But on the way there, both kids fell asleep. So we took a little detour, parked the car in some shade, and me and Alex relaxed on a blanket under a tree. We were there for about an hour enjoying the peaceful, serene nature that surrounded us. Alex joined the kid's in catching a few z's too.

All four of us... :)

We eventually made it to the zoo. I had the brilliant idea to not bring the stroller and to just carry the kids since we were only going to do a couple of things. Yea... bad idea. We ended up being there for a couple of hours trying to contain squirmy kids and every time I would put Todd down to give my arms a break, he would put some dirty thing from off the ground in his mouth. I don't know what I was thinking... a stroller is a must - always.

We topped off our day with a trip to Applebee's where we met up with one of Alex's classmates and her boyfriend. The day couldn't have been any more perfect! This week is going to be amazing... we get to have Alex all to ourselves all day, every day! 

Flowers, For Me?

I always think of high school in two categories: 1) my best friend, Hannah, and all of our ridiculous adventures together - most of them happening at the lunch table with Steven, and 2) crushing on Alex all four years.

Oh goodness.... did I ever crush on him bad! Any interaction with him made my stomach swirl and I would replay that brief moment in my head over and over - just wanting to relive it once more. There were bouts of jealousy when he was around other girls, along with feelings of "why not me?"... but I just kept on crushing on him and didn't let it bother me (too much). 

Since my best friend was Alex's sister, we all hung out together often. I will never forget this one time when we were driving around the mall together. Alex was driving, Hannah was in the front seat and I was in the back. (Maybe Steven was there too... but I can't remember). We came to a stop light and as if it was a knee-jerk reaction, Alex opened his door, reached for a flower, picked it and then handed it to me. The light turned green and he just started driving again. Wow... that was suave! On the outside, I was playing it cool. I smiled and gratefully accepted the little flower. But on the inside!! Oh man! My stomach dropped to my feet and my jaw was down to my chest! Who just does that?! It might as well have been a scene from a chick flick. 

It was really no effort on Alex's part, but it meant the world to me! I mean, here I am almost nine years later still swooning over that moment. 

Little did I know that nearly nine years later I would be calling that car mine and Alex would be bringing me home bouquets of flowers!  What a dream!

Saturday

What started out as a spontaneous morning breakfast at Denny's, turned into a spontaneous trip to the zoo... which turned into a spontaneous purchase of a zoo pass!

You can see by the apparel of my children that it was indeed a very spontaneous trip.

A black velvet dress, black tights, a maroon princess jacket, a purple bow, and white tennis shoes complete with a butterfly necklace made by Lucy herself. hahaha! oh embarrassing!

It took us our fourth ride on the carousel to realize that the kangaroo was sporting a UMKC saddle. 

That's right... Alex's mascot is a fierce kangaroo! 

Lucy telling Alex that he's not invited to ride with her and to kindly get off. 

That is if you consider screaming and pushing kind. 

Todd is ready to pounce on that bird!

The weather has been incredible and we're on our way to the zoo again this morning!