Lately, I just haven't felt like blogging, or doing anything for that matter. I've gotten in the same old rut, doing the same old things. I don't feel very inspired lately, nor do I feel like really taking any pictures. And it doesn't help that it's so dang hot here in AZ that all I'm left to do with my kids is stay inside the house, or hang out at the mall. (We're going a little crazy!)
In and amongst the demands of motherhood, I've lost a sense of who I am... an identity crisis, if you will. Something I've been struggling with for a little while now. I can hardly do something that I want to do without little hands grabbing away, or a child laying across my lap, or demanding for my attention. The motivation to do fun and spontaneous things has flown out the window.
I'm wanting to break out of this currently dull way of life, but am struggling to find a way how. In an effort to mix things up a bit, I packed up the kids and we took off to California last week for a few days. Alex was able to get a lot of good studying in for his test with no loud/crying distractions. Normally, the drive is only about 6 hours... but driving (a little slower) by myself, while trying to take care of kids, and stopping frequently for bathroom breaks and food, it took me about 8 hours to get there. Toooo long and exhausting by myself... I'm thinking that I won't be doing that very often.
We had a wonderful, relaxing time visiting mine and Alex's parents. My mom took me and the kids to Disneyland (more to come on that!), went shopping, and just enjoyed being together.
The kids and I went to my mother-in-law's classroom at her school, and enjoyed some ice cream afterwards.
And our trip wouldn't have been complete without a little swimming as well. :)
But we were anxious to get back home and see Alex again. We missed him terribly.
Now that we're home again, it's back to the same old routine. If I could write a big giant post-it note to myself, I'd hang it over my fireplace and it would say "Do something worth while today. Find the energy, find the motivation, and make it happen".
...easier said than done! But here's to trying!
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Oh Shauna, I don't blame you at all! Lacey and I were just talking about this recently -the lack of motivation to blog (among other things). There are days where I feel like I'm going crazy sitting around the house, going through the motions and taking care of a toddler... The best way I've found to get out of the rut is to plan things, or (in my case) help others out. I've signed up to take others meals in our ward, or watch other people's kids for service, or tried to find a way to help someone else out. I feel like it gets me out of my rut, and it feels so good to help someone. I'll be praying for you -you are such an amazing person (and mother!) and don't you ever forget it! As for the weather, hang in there, cause I've heard Arizona winters are GREAT!
ReplyDeleteI have a friend that's living in the same area as you and she said that the library story times are awesome. Maybe try that and know that u are so not alone. I felt like that when we moved, but then went online and found community stuff for kids. Just having a couple of different things to do a week helps a ton. Good luck finding your things. By the two month mark everything feels great so just hold on, keep your eyes open for ways to get out and remember, in the winter your weather will be awesome! =)
ReplyDeleteShauna! Hang in there! It's motherhood at it's best and worst. But your kids are growing and they are so worth it. I have been in craziness for five years and recently have started to slowly come out of it a bit as my kids are a little easier to manage and I am so grateful for how ridiculously hard and frustrating it was being a young mom with three babies in a 600 square foot apartment with a husband ALWAYSGONE and not a lot of money because of the student life, because it is making this time so sweet and so beautiful. I say this, but I had a rotten morning and cried my eyeballs out today because motherhood is so hard, so it's not all roses as they get older, but it's so worth it and there is a breath of fresh air coming your way, I promise!
ReplyDeleteGirl I have been feeling the EXACT same! You really should start being my texting body, it's helpful...I have another friend whom I text lots and it helps us both. We can help each other find ourselves. I wrote a post about finding myself and Soren said it was too depressing to post...haha yours is a bit better! Text me seriously!
ReplyDeleteAmen. I was definitely in a slump before I started doing photography, which is a fun hobby. But having hobbies with kids can be SO hard! Sometimes it's not even worth doing what I enjoy when there are so many other demands!
ReplyDeleteBeing able to give ourselves wholly to motherhood while not sacrificing our own identities and passions is a balance that I'm not sure is ever perfectly attained.
But I'm sure glad I read your blog tonight, because I needed it! Sometimes it's nice to know I'm not alone in these things. Thanks for being who you are!
I know exactly how you feel! It seems like there are 100 things I want to do everyday and then I get around to about 1 or 2 at best and it just feels a bit hopeless. Somedays I really long for the use of both my arms :) I was just thinking today how much I miss our apartment complex- we're still here but everyone else has left. I would love to go on a girls weekend sometime but I think that is going to have to be a few years off. Hang in there! I know how amazing of a mother you are and you'll fall back into a comfortable routine soon enough
ReplyDeleteTaking time-out for a trip was a fabulous idea! I just had a 6-day trip myself (with our youngest along) and I am still feeling energized to "get something done" today). Those times away from the kids are important; just as much as your time with your kids. Keep it up, you can do it!
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