A couple of days ago, I started off my day great. I woke up at 6:15 (not by choice, mind you) and read my scriptures. After breakfast and whatnot, I put on a yoga video that I rented from the library. I've only tried yoga probably twice in my life, so I thought I'd give it another try. (It was great, relaxing, and I can see why people love it... but it's just not for me). I couldn't help but think while doing the Down Dog how I never exercise and I should maybe try it out. After all, we have a community center nearby with a day care where I could drop the kids off and go exercise for a bit. I'm pretty proud of myself that I actually got the kids loaded up and went! Very much out of the norm for me to go exercise. Probably the best part of going to the gym was dropping off my kids for an hour and running while watching the news with no distractions. Is that bad? (I'm gonna say no, because believe me... after picking them up I had to work through some guilt issues for doing that.)
We got home and it was nap time... my favorite time of day! It's always a mission of mine to get the kids to take naps at the same time so I can get a little shut eye myself. I love naps... and I mean LOVE them! And today I was going to take one! My legs felt like noodles and I was going to crash. But of course, Lucy just refused to take a nap. I did everything in my power to get her to sleep. I even put on Winnie the Pooh hoping that she would at least just relax, giving me a good 30 min nap. But no... oh no. She couldn't resist poking at my face or hopping around on the bed. I was half asleep and getting so angry at her. I hated it! And I didn't understand how could I feel so guilty for taking time for myself in going to the gym, yet here I was so angry that I wasn't getting the nap that I wanted. I realized that this has been a pattern of mine. When I make getting a nap so important, and things don't work the way that they were perfectly planned, I turn into some mean, nasty woman. It's not fair to Lucy and Todd. It's not fair that I get a little resentful towards them, all because I didn't get my dumb nap. It's just not worth it.
So yesterday, even though I was once again up at the crack of dawn, I decided to forget the nap all together. I was a walking zombie by the time 6 rolled around, but what a difference it made in my attitude towards my kids for the rest of the day.
Sure enough Lucy didn't take a nap that day, so we all went to bed really early. Thank goodness!
Aw, I remember naps...barely. Lincoln hasn't napped for AGES! And stays up late...he just doesn't sleep! But I can understand your frustration...when I try to rest on the couch--usually when he is being calm and watching a show...the second I lay down he is climbing on my ... onto the back of the couch and then jumping back down on me! Ugh! So I understand. I like this new blog :-)
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